dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
