when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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