Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
