turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
