it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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