just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
