she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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