it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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