Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
