I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
