he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
