I need help removing her.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
