i will never coherently bang her
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
