clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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