you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just saw a hot homeless man
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
