Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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