Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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