Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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