Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she pinky promised me she was 18
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
