I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
