Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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