since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
