I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
