You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
