speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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