I feel like abortions should bother me more
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
