we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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