Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
so much tequila, so little girl.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
