I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
