remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
