Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
