The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
