Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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