hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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