i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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