I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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