I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
