My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm always down for nudity.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
