Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
