I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
