I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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