Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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