she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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