This dress was meant to end up on your floor
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
