Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
