I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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