i just had sex bonerless
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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