He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
