woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
