You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I had to cum in my sink.
And then he peed in my hair
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