Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
