no. you can't hotbox the world.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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