sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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