i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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