Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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